Xzaxza=Christian…I refuse to retype!
The Spinal tap has come and gone. The first day after, I felt a little bit of back pain. It was more like I had slept incorrectly but it hurt a little more than that. I went to bed and woke up the next morning with the same pain. <lj user=xzaxza> looked at the wound and said he thought it was still a little oozy. We bandaged it back up and I went to have breakfast. What soon followed was probably the worst feeling I have felt in the head (not the body) I have ever felt.
I had a severe migraine that was so bad it caused me to sweat, gag and cry for most of my day. I got control of the first too…the crying took a while. The only time I felt better was when I laid down. Most of my day again was spent on my back (no jokes please).
Unfortunately, yesterday we had a lot to do that required me to be able to move around. <lj user-xzaxza> did most of this himself. He was a trooper but I’m sure he could have used a lot of help. There is one thing in the cargo van we got that he was not able to bring into the house, that I’m sure he will today with help.
I was told by a reliable source (actually two) that caffeine would help my head. So I drank a lot of tea and soda. I realized later why I do not drink caffeine at all and it’s because I was up late. I have no idea what time I finally went to sleep, but lying in bed i came up with a TV show Idea, a couple of scenarios for a 7 minute movie and relationship advice for a friend who will NEVER get the pleasure of hearing it.
<lj-cut text=”The complexities of Prayer”>
I finally fell asleep, after praying (yes I do sometimes do this) to God that he take away this ailment from the spinal tap. I always feel bad praying for myself…so I don’t do it that much. I find that when I do pray that I strike bargains. So, I asked for the headache to be gone and I could deal with the back. I have dealt with pain on the entire left side of my body…this wouldn’t be any worse. I can pop a Percocet and it will go away. I find that if I bargain with a higher power…it works better because it’s like getting a good interest rate.
I had horrific dreams about my father throwing me down the stairs on purpose over not doing the dishes. I can site this dream completely to a situation. <lj user=xzaxza>’s frustration over Edwin not cleaning ONE plate that would take LESS than a minute bothered him a lot. He wanted to put the plate on his bed. This is a thing my father used to do…so I’m sure it stuck with me and so the dream began. My father went bad and kicked me down the stairs…masking it as a joke and started to cry when he realized he just tried to kill me or hurt me badly. I woke up abruptly…still the headache.
I had to redefine the terms of my negotiations with the God called, “God.” When dealing with a higher power, I find it is good to always be as specific as possible. You can’t just say, “God, please God please…take my severe headache away and my back pain tomorrow.” You must always be conscious of time, the days events and the people involved. These must all fall into place or you are liable to not have your prayer answered. So each time I pray…I have to fine tune the events of the day.
Me: <i>God, please God please take away my severe migraine due to the spinal tap and the back pain by tomorrow (because it’s before midnight) so I can have fun at Ikea.</i>
Well this isn’t good enough. The prayer reads that God is being asked to take away all pain from the spinal tap at some point the next day so I can have fun at Ikea. I can still have fun at Ikea…but still have the pain in the back and the head until some point that day. I can just get home from Ikea and the pain is gone. I could be home for ours from Ikea and it will finally go and still had fun. Or, I can get up and it is gone but have 5 minutes of fun at Ikea and then it’s gone. I just asked for fun, the pain gone. No specific mentions of time the pain should be gone, where I will be when said pain will be gone, who will be there. So, the prayer must be fine tuned.
Me: <i>God, please God Please take away the severe headache that I have by tomorrow morning when I wake up so I can have a fun day at Ikea with Christian, Jason and/or Scott. Amen</i>
Amen must be added. If I believe I have forgotten to say Amen the contract must be made again and said 3x with the Amen at the end because the Amen is sort of like the signature at the end of a contract.
Scott was maybe coming but maybe not. So I have to account for the fact that he may or may not be coming. If I have said just Christian and Jason….and Scott showed up. The contract between God and myself is void and he doesn’t have to take away the pain. If Scott doesn’t come and I failed to mention he may not come…the contract is also void.
I may wake up many points during the night, but that doesn’t mean God has to cure me of this headache during those times. It’s the final time I really wake up that the prayer must be answered. I am a firm believer in sleeping and when you wake up…you’ll be better. You just don’t stay awake and all of a sudden your cold or flu is gone. That’s not the way it works. :-)
I went to bed with this contract in mind. I woke up with my headache thus far gone. I went over the contract again and detected a snag in my contract. I never mentioned how long today the pain should be gone. So, I negotiated the terms a little bit.
Me: <i>God, please God Please, keep the pain in my head away from it today while I’m having fun at Ikea and if you see if for it to come back tomorrow I shall deal with it. I will just deal with that tomorrow. I’ll deal with the backpain today as well, but the head ache much be gone all of today while I go to Ikea with Christian, Jason and/or Scott. Amen</i>
I realize now as I type this…if for some reason Jason backs out…I risk having the contract voided and I’m screwed or he’ll just forgive the technicality and keep the pain away.
